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Inspiration

How friendships change with age.

A few days ago, I was talking to my sister about this mutual acquaintance we have and how she’s constantly telling her (or me) that we’re in a bad mood, grumpy or pissed off (whenever we were quiet). Sometimes, and don’t get me wrong, I feel like people force themselves into your lives and it just isn’t right. I am a very introverted person and make lots of effort to be socially active and I try not to be awkward about it. It’s hard as it is and I do admit that I always come off as a queen B, but those who know me, know that I am so not like that. Takes time for people to get in the “circle of trust”. I am content just being quiet and invisible in my corner. I know, how ironic that is, seeing that I do talks and fashion events. But, it honestly gets me frustrated….it’s like, “NO! I am not grumpy; I just don’t have the energy to be super friends with you”. You’re not a bad person, I just choose not to be friends, that’s all. Is it just me or do you feel like, with age, your friendship standards have changed? I feel as I am getting older and more aware of who I am and what I want in life, that my friendships and my priorities in life have changed. Not necessarily in a bad way, but they just did.

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Growing up, I always had the biggest number of friends in our household; part of the popular clique at school, know whatam sayin’. I always thought that friendships, especially female friendship, were important as they make or break you. Even though I am super close to my sisters, I felt like I needed exterior female relationships. It makes a difference! I promise. I am lucky to have three really good female friends that know me, have my back and love me for me. They are not afraid to be blunt, to be honest, and to pull me back to planet earth when I am way up high in the milky way. Relationship is mutual and respectful in every sense of the word. Now that I think about it, perhaps that’s the reason why I had such trouble fitting in Palestine…is because all the women I met never wanted to befriend me. It always felt like a competition. Soooo tiring!

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You know, some studies prove that the older you get, the fewer friends you have. I do attest to that theory and agree 100%. Towards the end of my 20s, I realized that I had an unnecessary number of “friends” in my life and that I had way too much going on. Some of those people are barely present, but you still call friends just for the sake of it. I realized that some of them were dragging me down and making me feel shitty about myself in unforgivable ways. I, now, decided to prioritize whom I want to hang out with and whom I want to connect with on a deeper level.

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With age, I realized that it’s not about the number of friends you have but about the quality of those friends. The people that lift you and make you feel special, that’s who you want as friends. Now, more so than ever, as my priorities change (with being a mom and a wife), I still do make time for friends, but for those who mean something to me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what adult friendships are all about. There a huge difference between family bonds and friendship bonds. With friendship bonds, you have the upper hand to decided who to keep in your circle and that’s why friendships are unique because you get to choose them. When you choose who you click with, the bond is stronger. That’s how it is with my current friends; with age, friendships improve and as priorities change, your friendships change. Childhood friendships and adulthood friendships evolve with age because I feel like they become more complex and meaningful. Come to think of it, I don’t talk to anyone from my childhood, although we keep in touch through social media, the friendships I harvested are those from university. Those girls stuck with me through it all and they are just like sisters. Even though we go months without seeing each other, once we meet, it’s like we never left that last meetup. That’s the privilege I like!

With age, friendships change, and I truly find that they improve. Connections get real! Friendships truly do help with loneliness and they improve your mental health. When you are down, you’re easily lifted. You have to surround yourself with likeminded people and when you feel your absolute worst, that’s when friendships are tested. Friends, as we get older, should help boost your self-confidence when in doubt and improve your wellbeing. Friendship is a relationship with no strings attached except the ones you choose to tie, one that’s just about being there, as best as you can. Ture and deep friendships, ultimately, can be therapeutic for the heart and soul. Quality time spent with wonderful eggs helps you create amazing and longlasting memories. So make time for those that matter to you and don’t be shy to put an end to relationships that suck the energy out of you. We live once, so it’s best to live it healthily.

 

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Style Vintage

An ode to the women in my life!

In honors of women’s day (not that it matters, because women, men and children…and animals should be celebrated every day!), I wanted to take the time to thank all the great heroines in my life that push me daily to become a better human. I am forever grateful and thankful for having a bunch of amazingly brilliant women and I feel like this can never be replaced. I am a feminist yes, but I do believe that women and men have different levels of being and we cannot get to their level and they cannot get to ours. This is simply how we are made, but one thing I know for sure is that women are much stronger emotionally and can take up a beating (metaphorically speaking) and still go forward. We have the power to fight for what we want and make dreams happen.

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My mom, despite having a hard time fending for herself (especially with dad)…she was still able to fight for us, to make things happen for us and to teach us to push ourselves past our comfort zones (most of the time). She is and forever will be my hero because despite the hardships in her life, she still helped shape us into the brilliant women we are today (I can see my sister’s cynicisms shine through at this one). I feel like despite everything, we are inspiring with our perseverance to stay positive and kind despite today’s harsh and cruel world. And that’s where mom comes in, she always pushed us to stay kind to others no matter what happened because it was always about kindness instead of aggressiveness. Granted, we all grew into different characters with different perceptions of what life truly is, but at our core we are all the same. And so, to my wonderful gorgeous sisters, I can never put into words how much they mean to me…yes most of the time we want to kill each other but to kill for each other we would all the time. We are together through tick and thin. We are never shy to be honest and brutal with each other because that’s how we care. We care so much, it’s kinda sickening! Haha! At the end of the day, even though we all grew into a million different directions, our roots are together, and they are grounded. Miles apart, we are still connected by the heart…cheesy but super true.

But I guess womanhood and sisterhood doesn’t stop at family and friends are equally as valuable. I don’t have many friends, but my girlfriends are freaking insane. They are loud and crazy and a mouthful, but they are humble and beautiful both inside and out. I feel like even though we are in the age of women empowerment, there are still loads of female citizens that make sure to bring you down rather than lift you up and I have such a hard time connecting with women because of that. Not everyone is the same, I know, but I find it hard to find a small group of strong women that can tell you how it is. The best kind of friendships are fierce lady friendships. My sisters from other misters aggressively believe in me and they are there when I need them. Even though we are not constantly talking, we know we got each other’s backs. There is no competing, there is no comparing, there is no hating; just pure empowerment, empowerment at its finest.

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This is why I wanted to take the time of day to celebrate the women in my life, because they all have shaped me in ways they will never know. Each woman played a role in making me strong, in making me feminine and in making me a warrior and I in return want to teach my daughter to do the same; be a magical wild thing! So to the women in my life and to all the women out there (including myself), cheers to you for always fighting and for always making place for future generations. You’re all that and a pair of Louboutin’s ♥