A few days ago, I was talking to my sister about this mutual acquaintance we have and how she’s constantly telling her (or me) that we’re in a bad mood, grumpy or pissed off (whenever we were quiet). Sometimes, and don’t get me wrong, I feel like people force themselves into your lives and it just isn’t right. I am a very introverted person and make lots of effort to be socially active and I try not to be awkward about it. It’s hard as it is and I do admit that I always come off as a queen B, but those who know me, know that I am so not like that. Takes time for people to get in the “circle of trust”. I am content just being quiet and invisible in my corner. I know, how ironic that is, seeing that I do talks and fashion events. But, it honestly gets me frustrated….it’s like, “NO! I am not grumpy; I just don’t have the energy to be super friends with you”. You’re not a bad person, I just choose not to be friends, that’s all. Is it just me or do you feel like, with age, your friendship standards have changed? I feel as I am getting older and more aware of who I am and what I want in life, that my friendships and my priorities in life have changed. Not necessarily in a bad way, but they just did.
Growing up, I always had the biggest number of friends in our household; part of the popular clique at school, know whatam sayin’. I always thought that friendships, especially female friendship, were important as they make or break you. Even though I am super close to my sisters, I felt like I needed exterior female relationships. It makes a difference! I promise. I am lucky to have three really good female friends that know me, have my back and love me for me. They are not afraid to be blunt, to be honest, and to pull me back to planet earth when I am way up high in the milky way. Relationship is mutual and respectful in every sense of the word. Now that I think about it, perhaps that’s the reason why I had such trouble fitting in Palestine…is because all the women I met never wanted to befriend me. It always felt like a competition. Soooo tiring!
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You know, some studies prove that the older you get, the fewer friends you have. I do attest to that theory and agree 100%. Towards the end of my 20s, I realized that I had an unnecessary number of “friends” in my life and that I had way too much going on. Some of those people are barely present, but you still call friends just for the sake of it. I realized that some of them were dragging me down and making me feel shitty about myself in unforgivable ways. I, now, decided to prioritize whom I want to hang out with and whom I want to connect with on a deeper level.
With age, I realized that it’s not about the number of friends you have but about the quality of those friends. The people that lift you and make you feel special, that’s who you want as friends. Now, more so than ever, as my priorities change (with being a mom and a wife), I still do make time for friends, but for those who mean something to me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what adult friendships are all about. There a huge difference between family bonds and friendship bonds. With friendship bonds, you have the upper hand to decided who to keep in your circle and that’s why friendships are unique because you get to choose them. When you choose who you click with, the bond is stronger. That’s how it is with my current friends; with age, friendships improve and as priorities change, your friendships change. Childhood friendships and adulthood friendships evolve with age because I feel like they become more complex and meaningful. Come to think of it, I don’t talk to anyone from my childhood, although we keep in touch through social media, the friendships I harvested are those from university. Those girls stuck with me through it all and they are just like sisters. Even though we go months without seeing each other, once we meet, it’s like we never left that last meetup. That’s the privilege I like!
With age, friendships change, and I truly find that they improve. Connections get real! Friendships truly do help with loneliness and they improve your mental health. When you are down, you’re easily lifted. You have to surround yourself with likeminded people and when you feel your absolute worst, that’s when friendships are tested. Friends, as we get older, should help boost your self-confidence when in doubt and improve your wellbeing. Friendship is a relationship with no strings attached except the ones you choose to tie, one that’s just about being there, as best as you can. Ture and deep friendships, ultimately, can be therapeutic for the heart and soul. Quality time spent with wonderful eggs helps you create amazing and longlasting memories. So make time for those that matter to you and don’t be shy to put an end to relationships that suck the energy out of you. We live once, so it’s best to live it healthily.