Categories
motherhood

What it’s like living with a 16-month-old!

Okay, so counting the number of months took me a while there, but I managed to get it right. My baby girl will be 1 until she turns 2. Because I’m that kind of mom! I am literally in awe as to how much I have learned these past couple of months. Being a parent truly is extraordinary; it’s scary, it’s exciting, it’s exhausting but so so rewarding. I am in love with my little monster, more and more, as time goes one. She teaches me resilience, patience, and gratitude for the little things that come our way. We, as adults, tend to forget to have fun and we focus so much on work and hustling that we end up simply existing and not truly living. My daughter taught me to take a step back, chill and live life to the fullest. A little like Frida Kahlo; Viva la Vida! I decided to take some time off from running a business and I am suffering the consequences in terms of producing and creating, but the time I spent with my daughter is far more important. The little girl, in her 16 months of life, has been through so much, from sickness to pain, to broken bones, and yet she’s still smiling and killing it at life.

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Living with an infant is so insane and I am super blessed to experience the wonderful (and not so wonderful) things that come with it. Some days are good, some days are meh and some days I feel like punching myself in the face for ever having a child. However, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Because after a long day’s work, a little hug from Luna makes everything so much better.
Since having her, I have acquired the art of being patient, which is a skill that is necessary for maintaining low blood pressure! Haha! I am also good at controlling my anger, my anxiety, and my frustrations. I try 10 times harder to stay positive, strong and calm for her sake. And on the days, I feel like crap, I try to keep it in till when she’s asleep or out in daycare. It’s hard being a parent. Especially being a single one! Okay, let me rephrase, I am still married but since my husband is away studying (in Ottawa) and we only see him once or twice a month, I pretty much take care of the baby alone (with my family’s help). I want to take a brief moment to salute all the mamas and papas out there doing it alone because to be in your shoes takes courage and grace. I sort of feel your pain, I am not nearly going through the same struggle as you and I feel the pain. So, kudos! Stay strong and keep on!
Little one has such a badass personality, it’s insane! Like how can someone so little have so much sass?! It kills me! Makes me want to bite her little cheeks!!! She’s fearless and wants to try everything. Doesn’t take no for an answer! Although she broke her ankle at 10 months old, she’s still so blasé about everything. It took us a while to get her to walk but seeing her do her little step now is like a miracle. With that, comes along the exploring, she wants to go up and down the stairs, open drawers and stick her hand in the toilet seat. I have to run after her all the time but seeing her happy makes me extra happy. She loves reading, giggling and her little black cat (a stuffed toy I bought her when she was 4 months old). She inspires me and pushes me to always be the best version of myself.
So, after forming a wonderful bond with my child, I am still a psycho, overprotective mama bear—I want nothing but her happiness and wellbeing. It makes me want to gag because I never thought I’d be this mushy inside. I am so robotic when it comes to emotions and I sometimes come across as a b**ch, but I am super sensitive and caring…just have a hard time showing it. Therefore, being a mom is quite interesting and my daughter is teaching me as much as I am her.

And that’s the lesson kids! Children teach you things too!

Categories
Style Vintage

Mom on the go…

When my sisters used to tell me that they literally never had time to finish their things because said time was dedicated to the children, I would always say…don’t be dramatic! Well, now that I am a mom, I realize that that’s very true. I wish I had an extra two minutes to wash my hair to perfection…but alas, those days are far behind, or taking a rest for a bit. Having a baby is so gratifying but most of time, I am so focused on baby that I forget to do me. However, with time, I have managed to be efficient and fast to finish things for myself and one of those things is getting ready in the morning. Since working full-time outside the house, I noticed that I am a little more pressed for time and juggling all parts of lie equally is giving me a bit of anxiety. I still push through and try my hardest to be a good mama and a good wife and a good woman to myself, first and foremost! So, dressing up is one of the things I enjoy doing for myself and that includes a little bit of makeup on my tired, sometimes dull face….so that makes me feel extra!

I have managed to gain a new skill over the past few weeks and that is getting ready and being out the door in 20 minutes and still managing to look humanly decent! Granted, I take some time at the end of my weekend to prepare mentally what I want to wear…but that isn’t set in stone, and sometimes I am up for something different. What I learned overtime is to dress how I feel and whenever I am tired, adding more color into my wardrobe gives me more energy to take on my days head-high, rather than feeling gloomy and negative. Today is no different, I decided to wear my pink blazer from my Zara suit and having a suit in my wardrobe is handy for layering and for creating different outfits. Mixing and matching becomes easier and having more options with certain pieces helps in spending less.

I went for my favorite ‘mom’ look, which by definition means sporting a blazer! Haha! Because that is the best possible way for me to look like a responsible, I know what I am doing in life, adult! Adulting, you say?? I am an expert!

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I didn’t feel like I needed to purchase anything new to make this outfit work. These days, that’s how I feel anyway. I am super happy with where I am at with my wardrobe and I feel very creative in mixing and matching the pieces I already own. If I feel like I have something missing, I usually turn to thrifting and when I don’t find what I am looking for, then I hit the stores. However, hitting the stores lately has got me so overwhelmed on so many levels. Been having all these existential questions, lately, about consumerism, humanity and the overall retail world. How much shit we put on our poor little planet who is kind enough to receive us all—and unfortunately, we don’t respect it as we should. But then I tell myself, as long as I do my part, then that’s a step forward.

I have been dying to wear my vintage croco-leather booties for a while but they’re so delicate and I need to make sure that there’s no water or snow when I walk because they easily stain…They’re such a great purchase really. I had found them in a thrift shop over the summer and got them because they’re so statement. A good outfit finisher, topper, whatever you want to call it. They fit so nice and are super comfortable to walk in all day…feels like not wearing anything.

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WHAT I WORE

BLAZER: Zara ● SHIRT: Max (from Jordan) ● JEANS: Buffalo (thrifted) ● SHOES: Vintage ● BAG: SFW

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To me, this is what mom attire looks like: you don’t really look like a mom! You just look fabulous and chic! Besides, you don’t have to give up dressing nice for having children. There’s a balance that needs to happen and I feel like I am starting to juggle things the right way. Hence my awesome sweater!!!!

To all the fabulous mamas out there, sending you endless positive vibes for the week ahead xxx

Categories
Inspiration Style

The voice of a new mom; struggles, hopes and dreams!

I was going through a lot of highs lately and not because my life was perfect, but simply because I have the love of my life by my side and my little monster in between. I felt like I can conquer the world! However, I feel like I have been questioning myself lately if getting married and having a child was all that life had to offer. I mean it isn’t all that bad, but I didn’t want to simply be defined as a mother or as a wife; I want to be so much more than that. I feel like many new moms go through this and I am not alone but there is no doubt that motherhood causes a major shift in identity.

Five months in and it’s starting to hit me now and I thought I would never go through it, but I am and I am trying to deal with it in the best way possible. Before monster arrived, I was quite convinced and certain that I would get back to work as soon as baby is delivered and I would resume being the fashionista that I am. Wrong! There’s so much I would like to do and would love to do but sometimes, I let guilt get in the way and stop me from accomplishing anything else other than mothering. Spending too much time in the shower, or getting ready or taking time to unwind and have a bubble bath…these are luxuries I am not sure I’ll enjoy soon. I miss them, oh yes I do, but I want to spend as much time as possible with monster and I am afraid I will miss the littlest thing. However, I can’t help myself but wonder, am I now destined to forever wear loose-fitting clothes that hide my stubborn post-baby belly? Am I supposed to forever spend my Friday nights in fighting with little one to get to sleep? Or do I now have to spend my Saturdays sleeping at 8:30 because I am dead tired?

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So this is what I figured…I will no longer overwhelm myself with trying to “find” the new me all at once. So many areas of my life are affected since baby is in the picture—inner and outer confidence, relationships with my partner, family and friends, career goals and even my personal style. Trying to tackle everything at once is sometimes frustrating and instead, I now choose to focus on one thing at a time. Attack the area that seems to be taking up the most mind space first, and then getting along with the rest of my mental list. Spending time with baby is the time I cherish most but I do get tired and frustrated and wish that little monster gave me a bit of a break…but for now, I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world. I will forever put on my big girl pants and face the challenges that come my way, in my most killer outfit, head high!

Categories
Health

Postpartum reflections…

It has been a hot minute since I have written a post as I have been so busy with baby and honestly I am only starting to get the hangs of things…7 weeks in. It feels so weird not to carry so much weight around and even so much weirder (in a good way) to wake up to a baby next to you. I am not going to lie, it was hard on me being a mom at first, I felt so freaking overwhelmed and cried all the freaking time and I couldn’t explain why. Yes, hormones take time to settle back to the way they used or be or at lease close to that. However, my anxiousness was getting worst and I simply couldn’t brush it off. My daughter was next to me all the time and I still felt anxious about everything. Is she cold is she warm? Is she comfortable? Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? All these questions kept me from relaxing just a tiny bit. Being able to take care of another life is a blessing and a burden at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom (more than I thought I would), but the guilt is real and it only gets worst, even if what you are doing is good. I think it is embedded in us moms to always be alert and give without boundaries and it is our responsibility to set some boundaries early on so that we do not forget to take care of ourselves. I may have let myself go for the past 7 weeks, but as I am getting more comfortable taking care of little Sofia, I am also more comfortable leaving her with someone else even though I have separation anxiety. It is important to understand that you are not alone in motherhood and that there is always someone feeling the same as you or someone that can help you see clearly. I was very adamant asking for help because I thought that it would make me look weak and that I couldn’t handle being a mom, but in fact you just end up burning out and being frustrated and that is neither good for you or the baby.

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Having other moms around me telling me how to handle certain situations made me go nuts because I was always worried that I wasn’t doing a good job. At the end of the day, each mother is different and each baby is different and I think it is important to know what makes you and your baby happy. Forget others! Do you! So here I am, 7 weeks later, feeling much more comfortable with the whole idea of motherhood and learning to appreciate every passing moment, because, MAN, does time fly! It surely isn’t easy and babies are demanding and they’re a lot of work, but those little giggles and coos and smiles make things a little better. Those little warm cuddles make all the bad and ugly much more beautiful. I never thought in a million years that I would be a mom and a good one at that. I always thought that I would have 6 cats and that would be my legacy.

So, to all the mums out there, please stop feeling guilty, because it’s such a stupid feeling and you are totes wasting your time! We all make mistakes and no one is perfect and as long as your children are healthy and happy then you are 100% doing great. Give yourselves credit and share the load whenever you feel like it’s getting heavy, there’s no shame in that! And if you are feeling anxious, don’t ever forget it…you’re not alone!

I don’t know how things will go from now on but all I know is to take it day by day and enjoy the little triumphs and the little moments, because those fly and never come back. But most importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourselves too, because you do matter!