The good, the bad and the ugly of living with a 2 month old!

I can’t believe how fast time flies and how much bigger my little monster is. Eight weeks! Two months! It’s insane! In a blink of an eye, my baby is getting bigger and bigger and changes and grows and develops and explores the world around her. Things have gotten better, here’s how I will start my thoughts because I don’t want to be sounding negative at all. I want to state that everything has been quite the challenge for me and that motherhood definitely doesn’t come with a manual. Every parent is different and so is every baby. My baby has been accused of being too needy and well I say so what?! My daughter is super aware of her surrounding and whenever I go missing she cries, she’s the type of baby that needs comforting constantly and she needs to feel secure. While I find it very challenging on most days, I offer her the comfort because I want to and not because I have to. I love making her feel better and if that means I need to carry her into my arms all day well then be it. There is no such thing as spoiling a baby!!! It’s a baby!! It’s supposed to cry and whine and want hugs and kisses all the time. I believe that a lot of people need time for themselves and need to teach independence to their children at a very very young age. I was somewhat a little peer pressured to give my daughter that space so that she grows to become independent and although I feel like I sometimes carry her loads, I do not feel like I need to teach her to be independent any time soon. There will be plenty of days where she will learn that by herself with the world we live in now.

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So the beauty and the good of living with a two month old is that you get to see them change every day and see them grow and it is truly a remarkable blessing. I was always so hard on myself, saying that I wouldn’t be a good mother….but really, what is the definition of good? We, women, tend to always want to be the best of the best and not make mistakes and I find that I am always questioning myself whether I am doing the right thing for the little one or not. But as time passes, I realized that I need to chill, take a step back, stop overanalyzing shit and just live each day to the fullest and learn to give as much love as possible to my baby.

I say bad, but it isn’t really that bad. Motherhood is a full-time job and you need to be alert and there all the time and although I am lacking sleep and I get frustrated and angry easily I still do enjoy being a mom. Being a mom is nothing like I have done before. I was career focused and needed validation from my superiors to tell me I was doing a good job and that pushed me to go further and be more ambitious. Being a mom, you don’t get that….no one gives you that validation, you have to give it to yourself, even though sometimes it’s hard. I may not be the best mom in the world, but I know that day in day out, I am doing what’s best for me and little Sofia. So although, you don’t get to sleep too too much (my friend was so right when she said sleep as much as you can before baby comes), you still get to bond with the little human that shares your DNA.

That leaves me with the ugly and the only ugly I noticed is that I sometimes forget to take care of myself. The bags under my eyeballs are real! And the smell of milk is undeniable but I know that this is a phase and it will pass, and so, all I can do now is enjoy every little moment because these moments will not come back.

So, all in all, living with a two month old is hard work but work that blooms into something beyond beautiful and I am so glad to be able to experience that. Not saying I want a second baby…all I am saying is, right now, I am loving it; even with its challenges. I am finally getting the hang of things and I can deal with my feelings a lot better. Crying is therapeutic for me these days and so, if I feel somewhat overwhelmed, I push through it and at the end of the day, I let it all out with a great big cry and I instantly feel much better. I feel like crying doesn’t mean I am weak, it just means I am a fighter and that’s what we are, us mothers, we are fighters!

Follow the rainbow!

While pinks and tartans are gracing the catwalk lately, the rainbow trend is making a huge statement and popping up all over the catwalks. Many designers are paying tribute to the LGBTQ community while others are just tired to conform to the bland of the high fashion world and are using the rainbow to make happier collections. I have always loved the rainbow trend…I remember having some rainbow pieces in college and one of them was a scarf and I loved it! You could spot me miles away with that thing; sucks because I don’t know what happened to it. I remember impatiently waiting for winter to arrive so I could wear it proudly. Seeing all those beautiful rainbow inspired pieces in stores brings back so many good memories. I guess yes to inclusivity! I have to say that of all the pieces that walked the runway, my favourite was Christopher Bailey maxi coat for Burberry; it’s an absolute dream! I would wear this as a robe at home while sipping tea all day, every day!

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So here’s my version of the rainbow trend, I must admit though that it takes courage to sport such bright pieces and that I had to work on a little bit…

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I spotted these wonderful trousers at Forever 21 a while ago while still being massively pregnant and I grabbed them off the rack and didn’t even think about it then; without trying without checking the size, I just knew they would be perfect. And here I am today, proudly wearing them the way I see fit and I couldn’t be happier. They’re a little tight around the butt/hip area, however, I know that they still look great and most importantly, I feel freaking fabulous in them!

I paired this gorgeous trouser with none other than my current favourite sweater and they worked so perfectly together. Match made in fashion heaven.

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Since I was out and about with dear little monster of mine, I couldn’t do heels and what better way to finish the outfit than with my white leather Converse. Maybe because I am exhausted and I lack sleep, but it takes a lot these days for me to feel good about myself, however, today I have to admit that I felt fresh and invigorated.

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PS…for those of you who’d like to try this trend out but don’t have the guts…well you can! There are many different options available to your own liking…like these awesome joggers:


 


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On Wednesdays we wear pink!

As you all know, I have a deep fascination with sweaters and so expanding my collection is crucial and since my sister knows I have an incurable obsession…she bought me this wonderful sweater dress from H&M in bubble-gum pink and immediately I though ouuuu Mean Girls! I have done pink on pink multiple times when i was in high school, it was almost a uniform of mine back in the day…but for some reason, I left that stage and never looked back and although I still do love pink, I rarely wear it these days. Since coming back to Canada in June, I feel like pink has made a huge comeback in stores and it’s like basically everywhere and so I couldn’t help but fall back in love with it. To pay tribute to the good all days, I decided to do a monochrome all pink outfit, because why not!

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I was debating over and over whether I wanted to wear heels or sneakers but I made an effort and went for the heels instead. Seems like, for the last bit of pregnancy and a little bit now, wearing sneakers and flats is almost the right thing to do, even though heels is my biggest weakness. Hopefully, I’ll get back into the swing of things. And since the outfit was a little flat, I added more colour to it by putting touches of blue and gold and these Aldo heels were the perfect fit.

WHAT I WORE

SWEATER DRESS: H&M • JEANS: Calvin Klein • BAG: Aldo • SUNNIES: Aldo • EARRINGS: Vintage • BELT: Zara • SHOES: Aldo

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I think those are pretty much basics and see myself hanging on to them for years to come. It is important to shop smarter and I feel like over the years and with experience, I have learned to shop less but invest in pieces I truly love and know will wear. Besides, pink is always a good color to have in your wardrobe to lighten up your days and your mood!

 


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Why I chose a birthing house…

As you can tell by the title of this blog, I decided to give birth to baby Sofia in a birthing house and not a hospital. I was pondering over this for a couple of months and obviously like many other women like me, I didn’t know that a birthing house was even an option because no one ever talks about it (which sucks ass by the way). I, first of all, am a huge “nosocomephobe” and I absolutely dread hospitals…y’all have no idea. So finding out that birthing houses and midwives still do exist got me super excited. There aren’t many here in Quebec and not many people about them…they’re pretty much still considered not fit to do the job but let me tell you that I am a true believer that midwives are angels.

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I initially wanted to give birth in a pool because I heard that it was less painful and your chances or tearing were minimal and so since I was in Jericho half way through my pregnancy, i sent out my dear sissy on a mission to finding a birthing pool place for me and like the hero she always is, she was able to get me on a waiting list to the Pointe Claire birthing house…and a few weeks later I got the call and I was in! I was so relieved and I couldn’t believe that I was going that route, but in my mind it was still a better option that the hospital. So as soon as I got to Montreal, I went to meet my midwife and my journey started there. She was knowledgeable and very assertive and knew what she was doing and pretty much slapped my fears out of me. She assured me that giving birth naturally is a good way to go and that many women before me have done it and that there is no fear in the process. Theses midwives are trained and have basic (a little more than basic) knowledge of medicine and so if there’s an emergency they can act quickly while waiting on an actual doctor to arrive. Although I went in later during my pregnancy to the birthing house, they made sure to keep me up to date on classes and natal care. They were always available on call for me whenever I had doubts, fears or questions.

I was lucky enough that my whole birth experience took five hours in total but my midwife was with me every minute and gave me strength when I became weak and pushed me to keep going when I almost gave up. Giving birth is not easy by any means and having done it, un-medicated at that, is a huge accomplishment in my books and I feel like from here on out, I am a superhero and nothing can stop me! I am not saying that going to a hospital is bad or giving birth through a c-section is any less heroic, all I am saying is, this experience gave me the strength I needed to say: yes, I can now conquer the world!

Honestly, it may seem so “retarded” to talk about midwives and birthing homes because we have hospitals and all the technology we need, but truly they are game changing in the labour/delivery process and sometimes, less is more. My experience proves that they still have space and room to practice their jobs safely without complications. Every experience and journey is different…but I am confident when I say (if you’re planning to give birth) that having birthing houses as an option in your pregnancy is excellent and you should look into it more.

Sweater Obsessed: Orange IS the new Black!

It’s sweater season again and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I love fall and my favourite season…if it could be one season all year, I would forever choose fall. The colors of the changing leaves give me hope for new beginnings and I totes need that now after giving birth and not having time to even shower properly. I have had the chance to walk around the mall a few times with the little bug and I noticed how big of a place sweaters are taking in stores, even more so than before. Sweaters are my obsession and I love fall and winter purely for that because you can look good while being snuggly and warm. There are the ugly acrylic sweaters that loose shape right away and the wool ones that itch so much…I think trying to find the perfect sweater is an art and collecting them is an even bigger art. I have collected a few sweaters throughout the years; some new, some vintage, some thrifted…but overall my collection is one I am proud of.

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This sweater caught my eye immediately because the color is glorious! I never wore something completely orange as this sweater and what I love about it is that it’s oversized which means more room for snuggle-iness. I think orange might be my new favorite color, move over burgundy, you’ve got a strong contender! So, I decided to pair this sweater with a vintage skirt I bought a few months ago when I was hugely pregnant but couldn’t wear it, so now is the appropriate moment to take it out into the light. I find that midi skirts are super flattering especially that I am on the petite’s side. I don’t have to worry about it being too long or too short; it’s just the perfect length. Since being a new mum, there’s rarely an opportunity right now to wear heels (unless I go on a date-but le hubs isn’t here), which means I am now stuck on flats for the next while and so my trustee Converse trainers are my go-to at the moment. They’re white and so they can easily be worn with any outfit and besides I love them so much, I think I might invest in another pair; perhaps black or maybe a crazy colourful one.

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This outfit is the epitome of fall for me and even thought the colors are bright, they are still muted in a way (not that you can’t wear bright colors in fall or winter…you can do whatever you want really!). I am seriously in love with this skirt, if I could wear it as my daily uniform I would, but that would just be sad.

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WHAT I AM WEARING

JACKET: Danier Leather ∞ SWEATER: H&M ∞ SKIRT: Vintage ∞ SHOES: Converse ∞ BAG: Karl Lagerfeld ∞ SUNNIES: Aldo

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I am glad to have a little more time to wear proper clothes now other than sweats and hoodies. Smelling of milk has got me feeling blue and so I needed to refresh and get out of the little rut I was in. This is perhaps the start of new colourful fashion adventures and I am so happy that I get to share them with you…

 


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Postpartum reflections…

It has been a hot minute since I have written a post as I have been so busy with baby and honestly I am only starting to get the hangs of things…7 weeks in. It feels so weird not to carry so much weight around and even so much weirder (in a good way) to wake up to a baby next to you. I am not going to lie, it was hard on me being a mom at first, I felt so freaking overwhelmed and cried all the freaking time and I couldn’t explain why. Yes, hormones take time to settle back to the way they used or be or at lease close to that. However, my anxiousness was getting worst and I simply couldn’t brush it off. My daughter was next to me all the time and I still felt anxious about everything. Is she cold is she warm? Is she comfortable? Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? All these questions kept me from relaxing just a tiny bit. Being able to take care of another life is a blessing and a burden at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom (more than I thought I would), but the guilt is real and it only gets worst, even if what you are doing is good. I think it is embedded in us moms to always be alert and give without boundaries and it is our responsibility to set some boundaries early on so that we do not forget to take care of ourselves. I may have let myself go for the past 7 weeks, but as I am getting more comfortable taking care of little Sofia, I am also more comfortable leaving her with someone else even though I have separation anxiety. It is important to understand that you are not alone in motherhood and that there is always someone feeling the same as you or someone that can help you see clearly. I was very adamant asking for help because I thought that it would make me look weak and that I couldn’t handle being a mom, but in fact you just end up burning out and being frustrated and that is neither good for you or the baby.

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Having other moms around me telling me how to handle certain situations made me go nuts because I was always worried that I wasn’t doing a good job. At the end of the day, each mother is different and each baby is different and I think it is important to know what makes you and your baby happy. Forget others! Do you! So here I am, 7 weeks later, feeling much more comfortable with the whole idea of motherhood and learning to appreciate every passing moment, because, MAN, does time fly! It surely isn’t easy and babies are demanding and they’re a lot of work, but those little giggles and coos and smiles make things a little better. Those little warm cuddles make all the bad and ugly much more beautiful. I never thought in a million years that I would be a mom and a good one at that. I always thought that I would have 6 cats and that would be my legacy.

So, to all the mums out there, please stop feeling guilty, because it’s such a stupid feeling and you are totes wasting your time! We all make mistakes and no one is perfect and as long as your children are healthy and happy then you are 100% doing great. Give yourselves credit and share the load whenever you feel like it’s getting heavy, there’s no shame in that! And if you are feeling anxious, don’t ever forget it…you’re not alone!

I don’t know how things will go from now on but all I know is to take it day by day and enjoy the little triumphs and the little moments, because those fly and never come back. But most importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourselves too, because you do matter!

Wardrobe basics: 10 things you need!

I know that it seems quite confusing sometimes when it comes to buying clothes these days with the fast fashion moving at a scary rate; new collections keep dropping on a daily! Buying trendy, cheaply made pieces seems to make sense nowadays but I believe that they aren’t necessary in your wardrobe unless you know you will get your wear out of them. Buying just to buy is pointless and not only makes a dent in your wallet but also a dent on our planet. It is quite important to invest in good quality pieces that will always be necessary to have around in your wardrobe and those are the basics; the building blocks and foundation of a good solid wardrobe. Basically, that’s where your big money should go! We women tend to fall for adverts quite easily and feel like we need to own a lot of shit, but truly we don’t…when you have the basics down, you can easily mix and match whatever you want with them…plus you will be at a point where you no longer have to stress about what to wear. Here are the staples I think every woman should have in her wardrobe:

 

* Leather Jacket *

A leather jacket is the epitome of badass when it comes to fashion; it adds a certain edge to an outfit without being too out there or too in your face and what I love about a leather jacket is that you can take it from day to night and still look like a million dollars. Investing in good quality leather will ensure that you keep this piece in your wardrobe for years and years…and what’s awesome about leather is that the more you wear it the more it will be amazing as it takes your shape and you’re individuality; you basically become the jacket and the jacket becomes you. Make sure to pick something that is classic but still has a something something to describe you and make you stand out. I would say go with black because you can easily mix and match it with any other item in your wardrobe, but if you feel like you can do another color easily, then go for it! Don’t let anyone stop you!

* Crisp White Shirt *

Whatever your work field is, you will always need a basic white shirt. A good quality classic white button-down shirt will always save you when it comes to meetings or dates or any other important outing. A basic white shirt can take your outfit ten notches up and will make you go from drab to fab in no time. You will look crisp, clean and ready to take on the world! This basic will always be in trend and will always be necessary, so make sure to invest in a good cotton shirt or even silk, whatever your preference, but just make sure that the fit is right and the buttons stay closed! You can never go wrong with having a button down shirt in your wardrobe. If you are in a field that requires you to wear shirts on a daily, then go crazy with the colors and give yourself plenty of options.

* Black Dress *

The little black dress is basically a no brainer and every woman should own at least one LBD in her wardrobe for emergencies. This is a basic piece that you can take from day to night easily without fuss or hassle; just make sure to accessories accordingly and you’re set! Make sure to buy a dress that you’re really in love with and that suits your body type; like that you know that it’ll stay in your wardrobe for a long time. Black dresses are super versatile so don’t be afraid to drop a little more coin into buying one.

Tailored Blazer

This is must even if you don’t work in an office on a daily because it takes any outfit to a whole new level of professionalism. I honestly always feel like I can take on anything when I wear a good tailored blazer; it makes such a difference in the way you hold yourself and the way you present yourself to the world. Making sure that the fit is snug and just right is crucial to owning a blazer. Owning a blazer in a basic color is always a good idea as it can be a versatile piece to wear even over evening dresses to add a little je ne sais quoi element to your look. If you feel like owning two or three in different patterns or colors, go for it because you can never go wrong with them.

* Pumps: Black, Nude & Red (or any pop of color you choose) *

You definitely need a good pair of basic black pump in your wardrobe…but I feel like you also need a good nude pump and a good red pump…maybe not necessarily red, but a good pop of color is needed because you can add this to a boring outfit and make it ten times better and more interesting. Owning black pumps is a must for any woman! Neutral, goes with anything, perfect for work and special outings! Basically a good quality made pump is the be all end all to any outfit! It is the finishing touch to your whole look and making sure that your shoes are right will make you look amazing and then some!

* Dark wash denim *

Dark wash denim is genius to own in your wardrobe; especially when it is tailored and good quality. Don’t pay for jeans that don’t fit you snugly in the right places and certainly don’t pay for jeans that stretch so much that become super baggy when worn. Choose a cut that you are comfortable in but make sure it is dark wash because it’s more versatile and can even work for the office when worn with smart pieces such as a beautiful button down shirt. Dark wash jeans fit a bunch of different scenarios and so don’t shy away from spending a little more on a good pair. Plus dark wash is a lot more flattering than light wash.

* Trousers (Black or whichever color you feel comfortable in) *

We all need a good pair of tailored trousers; this is pretty much a no brainer. Trousers are essentials to own because they smarten your look whenever you need. They’re like a trusted friend that will never do you wrong! Always there and always by your side to make you look elegant, feminine and put together. Trousers will get you through the week; it’s a Monday through Sunday piece; you can easily wear it to work or even to brunch…just make sure to buy a pair that fits you right and accentuates all your good parts. A black pair would be a must-have but if you want to own other colors, it wouldn’t be wrong. Trousers are smart and they’re a great investment!

* Plain White Tee *

No closet is complete without a plain white tee; however, there are different types of qualities…a million cut and a million styles. No piece is more versatile than this item; it is pretty much your holy grail! Always make sure to have a white tee on hand because you can dress it up or down, wear it to work or on a night out. You can style it in many different ways and make it your own. Tucking it into pants, skirts, jeans, you can choose to put it with whatever item you own and you will look amazing for sure.

* Ballet Flats *

Pretty much like the pumps, ballet flats are a must because they’re smart but can be casual too depending on how you style them. Let’s not forget that they are also very comfortable. They can add a little pizazz to your outfit depending on the style you decide to go with. Pointy toe, sling-backs, Mary-Janes…you choose what best suits your lifestyle and you’re all set.

* Evening Dress, Fancy Skirt or Jumpsuit *

Depending on your lifestyle and your own liking, you should have something fancy to wear to special events. Choose a piece to make your own that helps sets you apart from others; something elegant, something feminine and well-made. I would personally go with a jumpsuit because you can never go wrong with jumpsuits. Buying a jumpsuit in a plain color can be very versatile for an evening out…you just have to style it with the right accessories. Not many people would go with a jumpsuit and this is why it would be a great investment because you will have something special to be in. Evening pieces don’t necessarily have to be bedazzled from head to toes; having interesting details in those garments such as cut and stitching can make a whole difference. Choosing a dress or a skirt can be easier as they are available pretty much everywhere you go, just make sure that the cut suits your body type and with that you’ll be set.

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Day to day dressing becomes easier when you have the foundations of a basic wardrobe. Having these essentials available to you at all times help you build a wardrobe that you are proud of and that you can easily dress out of…when you have those essentials, you simply build around it so that you can easily mix and match other pieces to have many different looks. You don’t need a big closet to dress pretty and nice, you just need good quality items that will see you through and will be your best friend for a long time. Investing in those pieces is important so that you don’t change them too often or throw them away. Be sure to have items that please you and make you feel extra special.