Finding myself…and not just as a mother

Motherhood has been such a whirlwind and even though I like little monster, I feel like I am in dire need of a break. I mean, she’s such an amazing girl and is quite interactive and alert….but I feel like it is a constant entertainment hub and it’s only been a little over three months. How do other women do it? I mean, I am very lucky that I work part-time and work from home, but all those mothers that go out and hustle from 9 to 5 then get back to cooking and cleaning and keeping the kids….how??? I rarely do go out without her anyway because of separation anxiety which I am slowly getting over, but I’m hoping that that guilt thing does go away or at least dissipate a bit so I can find a little bit of myself again. I guess as a little New Year resolution (I have never had made any), I want to get back to yoga because that made me quite happy. In the meantime, I am enjoying little one in random shopping outings and running errands…aka buying diapers and wipes! Haha! The thrill! Since recently, Nova has a massive sale, I was able to buy a few pieces for myself to get out of the sweatpants and back into the groove of things and styling and fashion. Fashion really does save me and give me a push to keep going and so do pretty outfits. Today’s outfit is also vintage; I have been loving doing vintage on vintage a lot lately. I did take a risk and bought these pieces without even trying them in hopes that they fit. I guess I lost perspective as to how my body feels or looks like after birth. I wouldn’t say it bothers me, but it isn’t the same. My booty isn’t as tight and my belly is mushy and flappy but YOLO and here’s how my outfit came out. I am not complaining at all, I am just at a loss about my body and how I feel in it and most of my days I wear oversized clothes thinking I am an XL while I am not. I guess what I am trying to say is, I am still confused with my body and lost and I am slowly trying to find who I am as a person and not just as a mother.

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It’s a total mishmash of colors and patterns but I was very pleased with the result. The skirt is from Danier leather and it was only 4$ and I was so happy I found such a unique piece. Printed leather doesn’t always look good but this one is amazing. The houndstooth print is phenomenal and even though it’s bold, I feel like it can easily be styled. I got this shirt from a friend (she’s like 80 years old)…it was hers when she was younger and it’s still in perfect condition…I was trying it out with another outfit but then looking at the skirt and the shirt together, it made sense and this is how the whole outfit happened.

These booties were given to me by a family friend and although I could sell them, I decided to keep them because of the square toe, it’s quite special and I feel like with wide leg pants, they would look bomb.

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There’s a bit of 70s-80s mix in this outfit, between the cut, the shape and the colors of it- it’s eclectic and happy!


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