I can’t believe how fast time flies and how much bigger my little monster is. Eight weeks! Two months! It’s insane! In a blink of an eye, my baby is getting bigger and bigger and changes and grows and develops and explores the world around her. Things have gotten better, here’s how I will start my thoughts because I don’t want to be sounding negative at all. I want to state that everything has been quite the challenge for me and that motherhood definitely doesn’t come with a manual. Every parent is different and so is every baby. My baby has been accused of being too needy and well I say so what?! My daughter is super aware of her surrounding and whenever I go missing she cries, she’s the type of baby that needs comforting constantly and she needs to feel secure. While I find it very challenging on most days, I offer her the comfort because I want to and not because I have to. I love making her feel better and if that means I need to carry her into my arms all day well then be it. There is no such thing as spoiling a baby!!! It’s a baby!! It’s supposed to cry and whine and want hugs and kisses all the time. I believe that a lot of people need time for themselves and need to teach independence to their children at a very very young age. I was somewhat a little peer pressured to give my daughter that space so that she grows to become independent and although I feel like I sometimes carry her loads, I do not feel like I need to teach her to be independent any time soon. There will be plenty of days where she will learn that by herself with the world we live in now.
So the beauty and the good of living with a two month old is that you get to see them change every day and see them grow and it is truly a remarkable blessing. I was always so hard on myself, saying that I wouldn’t be a good mother….but really, what is the definition of good? We, women, tend to always want to be the best of the best and not make mistakes and I find that I am always questioning myself whether I am doing the right thing for the little one or not. But as time passes, I realized that I need to chill, take a step back, stop overanalyzing shit and just live each day to the fullest and learn to give as much love as possible to my baby.
I say bad, but it isn’t really that bad. Motherhood is a full-time job and you need to be alert and there all the time and although I am lacking sleep and I get frustrated and angry easily I still do enjoy being a mom. Being a mom is nothing like I have done before. I was career focused and needed validation from my superiors to tell me I was doing a good job and that pushed me to go further and be more ambitious. Being a mom, you don’t get that….no one gives you that validation, you have to give it to yourself, even though sometimes it’s hard. I may not be the best mom in the world, but I know that day in day out, I am doing what’s best for me and little Sofia. So although, you don’t get to sleep too too much (my friend was so right when she said sleep as much as you can before baby comes), you still get to bond with the little human that shares your DNA.
That leaves me with the ugly and the only ugly I noticed is that I sometimes forget to take care of myself. The bags under my eyeballs are real! And the smell of milk is undeniable but I know that this is a phase and it will pass, and so, all I can do now is enjoy every little moment because these moments will not come back.
So, all in all, living with a two month old is hard work but work that blooms into something beyond beautiful and I am so glad to be able to experience that. Not saying I want a second baby…all I am saying is, right now, I am loving it; even with its challenges. I am finally getting the hang of things and I can deal with my feelings a lot better. Crying is therapeutic for me these days and so, if I feel somewhat overwhelmed, I push through it and at the end of the day, I let it all out with a great big cry and I instantly feel much better. I feel like crying doesn’t mean I am weak, it just means I am a fighter and that’s what we are, us mothers, we are fighters!