It has been a hot minute since I have written a post as I have been so busy with baby and honestly I am only starting to get the hangs of things…7 weeks in. It feels so weird not to carry so much weight around and even so much weirder (in a good way) to wake up to a baby next to you. I am not going to lie, it was hard on me being a mom at first, I felt so freaking overwhelmed and cried all the freaking time and I couldn’t explain why. Yes, hormones take time to settle back to the way they used or be or at lease close to that. However, my anxiousness was getting worst and I simply couldn’t brush it off. My daughter was next to me all the time and I still felt anxious about everything. Is she cold is she warm? Is she comfortable? Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? All these questions kept me from relaxing just a tiny bit. Being able to take care of another life is a blessing and a burden at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom (more than I thought I would), but the guilt is real and it only gets worst, even if what you are doing is good. I think it is embedded in us moms to always be alert and give without boundaries and it is our responsibility to set some boundaries early on so that we do not forget to take care of ourselves. I may have let myself go for the past 7 weeks, but as I am getting more comfortable taking care of little Sofia, I am also more comfortable leaving her with someone else even though I have separation anxiety. It is important to understand that you are not alone in motherhood and that there is always someone feeling the same as you or someone that can help you see clearly. I was very adamant asking for help because I thought that it would make me look weak and that I couldn’t handle being a mom, but in fact you just end up burning out and being frustrated and that is neither good for you or the baby.
Having other moms around me telling me how to handle certain situations made me go nuts because I was always worried that I wasn’t doing a good job. At the end of the day, each mother is different and each baby is different and I think it is important to know what makes you and your baby happy. Forget others! Do you! So here I am, 7 weeks later, feeling much more comfortable with the whole idea of motherhood and learning to appreciate every passing moment, because, MAN, does time fly! It surely isn’t easy and babies are demanding and they’re a lot of work, but those little giggles and coos and smiles make things a little better. Those little warm cuddles make all the bad and ugly much more beautiful. I never thought in a million years that I would be a mom and a good one at that. I always thought that I would have 6 cats and that would be my legacy.
So, to all the mums out there, please stop feeling guilty, because it’s such a stupid feeling and you are totes wasting your time! We all make mistakes and no one is perfect and as long as your children are healthy and happy then you are 100% doing great. Give yourselves credit and share the load whenever you feel like it’s getting heavy, there’s no shame in that! And if you are feeling anxious, don’t ever forget it…you’re not alone!
I don’t know how things will go from now on but all I know is to take it day by day and enjoy the little triumphs and the little moments, because those fly and never come back. But most importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourselves too, because you do matter!