23 Jul How I learned to stay true to myself after years of self doubt!
We all have been through difficult times where we weren’t sure of who we truly are and what our mission really is. We don’t all grow up to be super secure and self-confident from the get-go. When we are teeny tiny monsters (most of us anyway), we’re more confident because we don’t have any care in the world, because we have our parents to guide us and because we haven’t seen how hard life gets; we still live in a fantasy world where everything is possible and everything is beautiful. I for one remember thinking that I will conquer the world and with easy to follow steps I will be the next mother Theresa. All I wanted to do was go to Africa and save all the children from famine and poverty, but then once reality hits you and life experiences beat you down, you start losing focus and confident in yourself.
I am no stranger to feeling unsure and unsecure as a teen and even in my twenties…I spent a lot of time trying to please others because I had no backbone and I didn’t know how to get about in life. I always thought I was not good enough and no matter how hard I worked, it wasn’t enough. I spent most of my twenties feeling angry because I had no goals (I had plenty btw) and no massive successes. I didn’t own a luxury car or have a penthouse downtown or had a real substantial relationship. I felt stuck in a rut and I figured, that’s just how life will be for me and it won’t get any better because no matter how hard I work, it’s never good enough anyway. Why is it that we always need to hear someone else tell us we’re good? Why is it that we can’t pat ourselves in the back and say you did a wonderful job? It took me years of feeling sorry for myself to finally say, you know what, fuck it! I am good enough and I accomplished a lot!!!
After years of self-doubt and endless mental battles, I have finally come to the conclusion that success doesn’t have to be an ongoing thing; it can be in shorts amounts of time and in different chapters in our lives. We Millennials spend so much energy on having 1 set goal and accomplishing that become our Holy Grail mission but we end up missing the mark and missing the point of life. We sort of want it all and all at once which is one of our biggest downfalls. Through the years, I have slowly learned that I no longer need approval from anyone anymore. I learned to set smaller goals and accomplish them one by one and be proud of everything despite what others may think. I learned to tune out the negative voice in my head and that even though I am scared about doing/accomplishing something, to push myself out of my comfort zone. As Mr. Walsch once said: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone“. I am not saying that I am a pro at this but I managed to feel less stressed about everything. Self-doubt can be a huge issue and can paralyze you from doing so much in your life and you end up missing a lot of opportunities because you’re scared to fuck up and worried that you won’t be good. Believing in myself even though others don’t got me through a lot and I am proud of what I have accomplished so far and where I am in my life. Yes there are a few disappointments but never any regrets and this is exactly how I try to live my life. No regrets! Always do what your gut tells you, even though that sometimes it doesn’t make any sense.
There’s no real key to overcome self-doubt or fears or self-sabotage but the mission is always to put in the effort to move forward, to stay true to yourself and to stay humble in the process. Nurturing yourself and fining balance can give you the energy to keep fighting your demons and battles. It is also very important that in life some of us have to work a little harder than others to achieve certain goals and there is nothing wrong with that, we simply have to have faith and keep fighting.
Self-love is necessary and never selfish! Do you first! Always have power to dream, believe and achieve. Finally and most importantly, surround yourself with inspiring people; those who challenge you, who push you and who aren’t afraid to point out your mistakes and help you to become a better version of you. This is how I managed to stay true to myself…as cheesy as it may sound, mistakes teach you to become better versions of yourself.