One year later; marriage…a beautiful mess!

For those who’ve been reading my blog since the beginning know that I have been married for a year now. Gosh, I never thought I’d get here; always bet on ending my marriage at 6 months…haha! Only because I am a fierce, wild creature that cannot be tamed and many bet on me giving up quite quickly. Well for those who did, ha! In your face! On a serious note, I am very proud of how far we have come, both my husband and I come from different hemispheres and when I say different I mean it in every sense of the word. My husband is a complete oriental man, so much so that there are rules and ways about everything. I, on the other hand, am more western and although I come from a conservative home, we are freer to speak our mind and express ourselves to a certain extent (respect our elders is obviously a number one priority).

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I have known my husband for three years now…been married for 1 whole year and what you expect and what you get is completely different. We were long distance for two years prior to me moving to Jericho and getting married and that wasn’t easy because you can never really get the actual feel of the relationship without seeing the person and feeling their energy. Although I feel in love at first touch…I feel like there was still a lot more I needed to learn about my husband (as he did I am sure). However, talking to him daily made me fall in love even more, he wasn’t what I was looking for but he made me feel special in a way I couldn’t explain to anyone. The first months of marriage were really rocky, as we were still trying to figure out how to deal with each other and we were constantly bickering (mostly me…because I was in a different environment) and making up…just like kids in high school. Even though I was angry with him a lot, it never got to the point where I hated him…which was in fact a good sign (except for that one time where I packed my bags and wanted to leave). I would say it took us a good 5 months to finally settle into each other’s habits and ways. It was healthy for us to argue but more importantly, it was even healthier to know when to stop arguing. As time passed, even though he was annoying me as hell, I fell even more in love with my husband.

My main issue, I guess, during my whole stay in Jericho was that I was not only marrying my husband but I was also marrying his whole clan, which something quite common in the Middle Eastern world. LOL (not so lol when things get real ugly)! I think it is really important for any couple to make it a point before going in too deep in a relationship to put limits to other people’s point of views and opinions because that will most definitely be a breaking point. If I allowed it to be the main focus of my attention, I would have long left my husband because I have no energy for negativity nor uninvited and pointless criticism.

Coming back to my husband…so like yeah he’s oriental and all but not so much that he has a stick up his behind. He is totes more conversation that I am and there are points where he needs to let go some of his shyness and perhaps “prestige” because life is short and being able to take things lightly will make life much more fun. He’s got some weird ways in acting with others but I think that’s more because of his career than anything else; he is a lawyer after all. I am an artist and so we’re complete opposites and I think it is true that opposites do attract. My husband is organized, calculated, safe, simple (in a good way), overly sensitive and very kind. He’s not as driven as I am and he likes to be where he knows his environment and doesn’t like change and sometimes doesn’t accept it too well. He needs time to adjust and needs to study everything very very very (I can go on and on) well before making any decisions. I am soooo not like that and that’s where his patience is very much appreciated and welcome. He’s got patience of a monk and I respect that very much. I am very impulsive, irrational, wild, carefree (somewhat…less than now) and very creative. I am kind to an extent but also bossy to another extent…I sometimes don’t have balance and I think that’s my biggest flaw and that is a point where it could either make me or break me. I am definitely fire and my husband calms me and pulls me down to earth and that helps me be more realistic about life. He lets me get my anger out and absorbs most of it very gallantly and I am grateful and touched by how easily he brushes it off. He loves me immensely and has made me fall in love with myself despite how hard I was on myself all those years before meeting him. I think us women, we tend to always want more from ourselves and we are our worst enemy but it is important, to succeed in other relationships, to accept ourselves first and be in love with ourselves first.my husband played a huge role in that and that is one of the main reasons I was able to comprise so much and worked hard to make our first year of marriage work.

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I guess what I am trying to say is, for a marriage to work; you need to communicate openly and work on the issues rather than letting them pile up on the side. Even though some subjects are hard to discuss, it is always important to be honest about your feelings and not be shy to admit that you are at fault. It’s not about who is right and who is wrong; it is about making your relationship flourish and blossom into something crazy but beautiful. I cannot predict the future nor can I say if my relationship will be forever, but I am damn will work hard for it to last as forever as possible. Marriage is not the easiest job, just like motherhood, but it can succeed if you know how to work around the little bumps and learn to be respectful with one another. I can absolutely certify that my husband is now my best friend and partner in crime more than before. We has our inside jokes, we have our little special bonds…we lose ourselves sometimes but we do find each other at the end and for that I am eternally thankful. So if you’re in a marriage and feel like giving up, I say don’t, try to make it work and talk it out because I am sure that at the end, there is a way. Marriage is a mess but it’s a beautiful one!

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