13 weeks in now into my pregnancy and I still feel rubbish! I seriously do, I thought that these symptoms would get better, but for some reason, some were a lot worse than before. I wanted to share with you in this post the realities of the first trimester of pregnancy and the things that they don’t tell you in biology class or even at the doctor’s office. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was already 4 weeks in, which was somewhat of a relief, because I had weird headaches and nauseas but never knew what it was. Then after having a crying party, I decided, hey gotta take care of myself and enjoy this process, I mean everyone out there says it’s amazing! So I got to eating healthy and doing my morning yoga and just staying zed and just overall enjoying life with my hubby. Then reality happen and the 5th week in, I felt horrendous and sick all the freaking time!!! So here are the things I wish I knew about the first trimester. Honestly, these are things I wish I knew, everyone’s body is difference and everyone’s pregnancy is different and I salute all of my pregnant ladies out there for having the courage, the will and the power to continue with this journey and for staying strong throughout the whole 9 months. You gals are all my heroes!
♠ Morning sickness ♠
I wish everyone would just be honest about this one and stop freaking calling in it morning sickness!!!! It isn’t morning sickness, it’s all day sickness and yes, it even happens at night and I did have to get out of bed a couple of times to puke my little heart out! I mean it’s just constant, never ending nausea and it’s starting to annoy the hell out of me. I know that making a human inside of you and carrying a life is such a miracle, and don’t get me wrong, I truly feel blessed to be able to create a human inside of me, but damn does this nausea/vomiting thing take a toll on the body. It almost feels like I lost sense of control on my own body and I am purely directed by my raging hormone levels. Some days, I felt insanely weak; I could barely get out of bed. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t find the energy to be physically present for my husband and that made me feel like a failure. I know it was out of my control, but it was a feeling I had and couldn’t brush it off. I cried constantly because I was tired of feeling tired. I wanted to be my little energetic self again. I wanted to eat because I felt hungry all the freaking time. So, between the 5th and 10th week, I felt like I was stuck in a shit storm and couldn’t get out of it. But I was surviving, day in day out, I decided to not think past the present moment and I think that helped me quite a lot. Week 11 and 12 were meh, I had some break days in between the vomiting sessions, but right now I am back to regularly having to visit the toilet. Trust me, I ain’t looking for a pity party, I am just sharing what I went through and I know that other women have it worst and I feel you sisters! You can do this!
♠ Dysgeusia ♠
My doctor didn’t warn me about this bit but I kinda dislike her for it. It’s basically a fancy term to describe the fact that you constantly have a disgusting metal/mineral taste in your mouth and it affects your sense of taste. It was so strong at first; I couldn’t even eat certain spices or even drink mineral water. It’s so unpleasant but it isn’t the worst part of the first trimester, you simply need to constantly suck on mints and not think of it. Apparently it gets better once you pass the first trimester, but I still have it. Some people say it continues throughout the whole pregnancy, but then again, everyone is different. So here’s to hoping that this does end for me soon!!
♠ Increased sense of smell ♠
You can smell from miles away, it’s insane! Your sense of smell is so heightened that the littlest strange smell that you never cared about before will disturb you to bits! I would say that this was a huge issue for me between week 5 and 10 and I felt so bad because I couldn’t even bare my husband’s natural odour. I felt terrible, because it’s no one’s fault but the raging hormones inside me de-balancing everything…but I would basically sit and sleep far away from my husband because I couldn’t stand his smell at all!!! And he was my favourite perfume of all time before the pregnancy. Le boo! But this too passes and now I don’t mind him hugging me.
♠ Fatigue ♠
This uncontrollable feeling of sleep is so new to me. I mean, I was a little bit of an insomniac prior to my pregnancy and would sometimes go about my days on 3 hours of sleep and sometimes no sleep at all. But right now, I want to sleep all the time, anywhere and everywhere basically. It’s an urge I can’t even fight! It’s so weird and bizarre and even if I do end up sleeping a full 8 or sometimes 9 hours, it isn’t enough. I never used to take naps and now I just fully embrace them, because when baby pops, I know I won’t have much time for sleep. Listen to your body and if you’re tired and need to rest, then just do it and don’t even think about feeling guilty, because guilt is just wasted energy. As for the fatigue, sometimes, well I get up and feel like I can conquer the world and other times I wake up and feel like a 99 year old woman. My joints hurts, my bones hurt and my brain hurts. We don’t realize it sometimes, but physical pain completely affects your mental state and if sometimes can hinder the relationships you have with the closest people around it. I wouldn’t go around and say I’m depressed, I am not far down that way, but I’m sad, because I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of quality time with my husband. And to be completely honest, I sometimes feel alone in this, even though it’s not true. If you do have that feeling, know that there are a lot of women out there who share your feelings. So stay strong, you can do this!
♠ Mood swings ♠
Out of nowhere, I would get angry at my husband. So unfair, I know! Sometimes he would just be sitting in his little corner and I would secretly just hate him (not really…but really). Or sometimes, he would just do some of his regular mannerisms (which I never minded before) and it would piss the hell out of me. Then I would pick at him and just argue with him. Luckily my hubby is very patient with me and understands that sometimes I can’t control myself. I started leaving whenever I felt involuntarily bothered and let my husband be my husband and be content in his little bubble. Once I would calm down, I would go back to him and we’d be good again. I think if you’re aware that it’s just hormones, you’ll be able to control yourself and avoid unnecessary arguments or fights.
♠ Weird pains ♠
Your body is obviously preparing itself for carrying a baby and delivering that baby. Your hips will start to expand and your organs move to make room for the growing human inside you. I thought I would only feel physical pain towards the second trimester but it started early on for me. 6 weeks in and I started feeling throbbing pelvic pains, I wouldn’t say they were awesome, but I definitely didn’t mind them. I usually have a great tolerance to pain and this part of the pregnancy doesn’t bother me much. I can totes live with it. There’s also the sciatic nerve that starts to be uncomfortable and the weird aches and pains in your joints. I wanted to be so active, that sometimes I pushed myself to hard and ended up much more tired than I was before. So I would absolutely recommend that enjoy being lazy, because this isn’t the hardest part, the hardest is yet to come. So if you can’t do the dishes for one night, then screw it, don’t just take your time and focus on staying happy and healthy.
♠ Breathlessness ♠
It’s such a funny one, when I was first pregnant and didn’t know about it, that first month, I thought I was getting old and losing shape or that I had smoked one to many shishas with my husband over the summer. The simple task of getting dressed was dreadful, I would be completely out of breath and didn’t understand why…but then when I found out I was preggo, it was explained to me and it all made sense. Going up the stairs can be hassle, but it’s super funny to me because I am such an athletic person and I am not used to it. But like other symptoms, you learn to live with it and live each moment as it comes.
I hope that this post doesn’t sound to negative or too rant-y, but I feel like I needed to share what I felt and how I was disappointed with the expectations versus the realities. The only truth about pregnancies I ever had around me, were my sisters and the freaking movies. My sisters, I am sure, also suffered, but I was much younger and can’t recall much of it, or perhaps, because I was nowhere near having a child of my own, I never cared to take notes. Can we just be completely raw and honest and real about this?! Yes bearing a child is a miracle, but there are untold truths that need to be put into the light and we need to give knowledge to younger women out there that this doesn’t come easy. Movies glamorize the whole process and in my head I thought, yes, I will just be a glow bomb for 9 months and things will be perfect. No they aren’t!!! I want to put it out there and say when I was single, I never thought twice about the truth behind pregnancies and the “side effects” that came along with it. I think it is truly important to stay empathetic and understanding towards pregnant women. They go through a lot of physical changes and it can be daunting on their mental state. So if you have a pregnant woman around you, be supportive and be kind, because she’s creating something beautiful inside and needs all the support she can get!