I was having doubts posting this. I kept saying perhaps it isn’t right and it would cause too much drama. But, it just keeps haunting me! An argument I had with some acquaintances a little while ago…I feel like I need to let it out and my only outlet here is writing. This blog is my journal and honestly, writing keeps me sane and keeps my creative juices flowing. So, as I was saying, this argument was quite drastic and I couldn’t help but feel alone in this. I mean is humanity really dying or are we just too preoccupied to be successful that we fail to see what’s important? Moving to Palestine has definitely not been easy for me- it’s a big change and I was okay with it because I wanted to be with the man I love. However, living in a little city of 30-some thousand people is a little bit stressful. Seems like everyone knows what you do even if you don’t intentionally do it or even if you’re not full on putting it out there in the public. It’s like being watched closely 24/7. Anyway, I was always one to not care what anyone thought of me….but for some reason, here, some things are getting under my skin.
So not to steer away from the main point of this blog, we were talking about how cleaning jobs defined you as a person. I was simply stating that being a janitor/cleaner/maid or whatever you want to call it was just a job (like every other job out there) and that earning your living that way was much better than staying at home and being a beggar. There’s nothing wrong with being that as long as you earn your living with nobility and hard work. I kept insisting that having a title didn’t matter because at the end of it all, ultimately, we are all human and that when we die and we get put in the grave…those titles won’t serve us much (or at all even). For some reason, what I was stating was too controversial, unreasonable and unrealistic because that couldn’t possibly pass as a real job for people of a certain class. I mean I get it, but that doesn’t mean that if I decided to take that up as a living, that made me less of a human. Then they kept arguing with me that because I am an educated woman, I would be disrespectful and I would be putting myself down and people would look at me with a bad light. I mean, correct me if I am wrong here…I want to read your opinions!!! They were telling me that if a cleaning person came to ask their daughter’s hand in marriage they would say no even if he was good hearted. WTF???? Like, help me someone! That’s when I truly started to question my marriage….yes, I did get to that point, because my husband was sitting with me quietly observing the situation and saying nothing. I couldn’t help but wonder if he thought the same.
I grew up in a humble home. Yes we were very fortunate, I wouldn’t say we were high class, but we were on a good middle class front. We lived a decent life and never missed anything- our parents made sure we got everything we needed (not wanted) to be who we are today. Our parents taught us to earn our own money and to make sure that we stayed humble and courteous with everyone around us. But to have arrived where they did, my parents sacrificed so much themselves, to make sure we were brought up right and for that, I am forever thankful. I remember being a little pest in high school and probably too over-confident (for no particular reason) and my mom always told me to never put my nose up too high to the sky because I’ll stumble and I’ll end up falling and breaking my neck. Which, at the end of the day, meant that I should always remain humble and treat others with respect no matter their situation. We were taught to help others and to always work hard. However, moving here, made me see humanity on a different level. My mom always pushed me to work, even as a cleaning lady, yes she did that, she told me accurately: “there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you are making your own money and not wasting your time doing nothing”.
This argument just made me realize what type of people I was hanging out with and just made me sad. Are they that shallow? I mean am I being too over-dramatic here? Or am I over-analyzing things? Or is my compassion for my fellow humans blinding me from reality? I have always been one to see the best in people. My sister would always tell me to get down from la la land and that I should take my precautions because not everyone has pure intentions. However, for some reason, I can’t seem to find the exit door to that world…and maybe perhaps, I don’t even want to leave. I would much rather live in my own poetic world than live in a superficial one where values are put aside to reach a certain status or obtain a certain title. I like eating chips in a pita bread, I like walking barefoot in the street if my heels hurt and I don’t mind snorting in public whenever my sisters tell a joke.
I don’t want to diss anyone, sincerely, I respect their opinions…to each his own, but I just needed to vent and see other people’s point of view. Is humanity compromised or am I just not seeing things right?